The slashtacular story of slashy doomness or somet
by Toni2
Summary: Who is Zim banging? Why is he banging THAT person? Why is Dib freaking out? Read on and find out! READ and then Review!
1. Default Chapter

*A/n: * It's how the hustle goes, See what the jukebox knows, put my last quarter on, I play AUTHORITY SONG! * Don't we all wish we could sing Jimmy Eat World all the time? I do, oh wait, I sing all the time anyway! Ha Ha. Hello, STITCH reporting from the Smiley Face Insane Asylum ( SFIA), ok, you got me. I'm not visiting! OK, this is the default chapter. This chapter is a short story my friends, Pyx, Gimpy, and I created at lunch one day last week. I'm sure after you read this you will want to sit with us at lunch! Ok, probably not, but I can wish cant I? The first chapter of this story (not Default) will start a magnificent slashtacular voyage. WARNING: the story will be NOTHING BUT PURE SLASHYNESS! So if you do not like slash, then don't read it. Another Warning: This is quite disturbing, the short story and the actually story. It may case nightmares. If the story gives you nightmares, email me and I'll tell you some good therapists in your area. You all know the drill, REVIEW! Oh and don't flame THIS crazy person because she owns extremely freaky hamsters who eat human toenails. Just another warning. REVIEW child's, or the hamsters will get you, scary huh? If you review, then I'll sent you your very own scary hamster, a cookie, and a pink hair scrunchy. Only if it's a good review though (Pyx, this means you! Your legs are stupid and We rawk!)  
  
  
  
Thanks to Gimpy and Pyx for helping me with the excellently scary story! Next time we get together, watch out, cause this only took three minutes, next time we'll have longer!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
One day Zim decided to take action and destroy Dib. He walked the twelve-minute walk to the pitiful earth worms house. He stepped up to the front door and just walked in without even knocking!  
  
Dib: ZIM! What are you doing here?  
  
Zim: Gahhhhhh! Pathetic Human! Do you really want to know?  
  
Dib: Yes I really want to know!  
  
Zim: If you want to know that bad… I've come to dance on your head so you will go insane and die!  
  
* Gir pops out of a trashcan *  
  
Gir: Weeeeee! I found a banana!  
  
Zim: Why are you here! Who is guarding the base, I mean house, who is guarding the house!  
  
Gir: Big hair boys sister there  
  
* Gir's eyes go into rainbow color *  
  
Gir: Grooovey!  
  
*Camera cuts to Zim's house were Gaz in engulfed in her Game Slave 2. She looks up at the screen were she can watch whatever is going on at her house*  
  
Gaz: Fucking wierdos  
  
* Camera cuts back to Dibs house as Gaz resumes her Game Slave *]  
  
Dib: Your not going to destroy me Zim! Because… Because…  
  
Zim: Because what?  
  
Dib: Because.... I'm going to kill you first!  
  
* Dib whips around to grab his ray gun and in the process slices Zims throat open.*  
  
Dib: Well, that was unexpected *Gaz enters the house at that moment*  
  
Gaz: You mean to tell me that this whole time you could have just cut his throat with your hair! Your dumb.  
  
* Gir runs over to his master and cries*  
  
Gir: Master! No! .....No! ...No! Oh wait, i'm free now!  
  
Dib: No your not! Your mine now Bitch! Shut up whore.  
  
* Dib slaps Gir, Gaz slaps Dib and the poor robot starts to cry *  
  
Dib: Come on sex slave! It's bed time!  
  
* Dib grabs Gir and Gaz watches horrifies as he brings Gir into his bedroom *  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*A/N: So guys, what do you think? This is just a little teaser, the real story will be better, and more slashyer! If that's even a fraise or group of words. Go off now and review! And tell me if you would like to sit with us! LOL. 


	2. Right on! Chpter1

*A/N: Ok people, here is the first chapter to what promise to be an atrocity of a slashy story. WARNING: this story will be nothing but mushy slash. If you do not enjoy slash, then do not read it. ANOTHER WARNING: I am a schizophrenic insomniac, I am a freak and a loser. This is what I do with my time. The disclaimer is in the default chapter, so if you must know, look there. This story is slashtacular and the plot took three minutes to think of, so that might explain a lot. This is STITCH signing off. Read and Review, No one reviews, no one writes.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 1 " The night that STITCH scares Dib, and some stuff happens with Zim"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The rain hit the window in Zim's room. Although he had been living on the filthy earth planet for close to a year, rain still frightened him to an extreme. This night he took comfort in his lovers arms. He was restless and his other half was dreaming. He glanced at him with his crimson eyes longingly. His member was hardening just at the thought of him. He thought of when he first met him. He was dresses in a long brown dress thingy and his beard had been longer. They had both been complaining to the same waitress and she sat them next to each other. Zim's first thought was how ugly he had been. They got to talking and discovered that they both had a strong will to take over the world. Zim had him move in just a few weeks later and they have been together ever since.  
  
His significant others eyes started to open.  
  
" Hello……" Zim stated as he turned so that their chests were touching. His other half's beard was scratchy. He enjoyed that.  
  
" Hey…….What time is it honey?" He looked him up and down, then he laid his head on Zims shoulder.  
  
" GOD DAMN IT Osama! I have told you more than once you little bitch, don't call me by that despicable earth name. Your such an ignorant little whore sometimes!" Zim threw Osama's head off his shoulder and jumped out of the bed. He reached down and pulled his pants back on. He looked over his shoulder as he was leaving the room. " It's only 10, go to sleep. Slut."  
  
Osama wiped a tear from his face. Zim was so cold sometimes. Why was he like that? He only wanted to show his affection, and using that name seemed like the appropriate thing to do at the time. Zim definitely wore the pants in the relationship (*a/n: Literally!). He sighed as more tears were streaming down his face. He curled up into a ball and cried himself to sleep while listening to the rain hit the window harder than before.  
  
Zim walked into the living room to find Gir watching some idiotic human filth show.  
  
" Gir! What did I tell you about that hideous human worm broadcasting! It will rot your already bad brain."  
  
Gir looked up from the television and stood. He then walked around in a circle.  
  
" But master! You and master Osama were doing the bad thing in your room! So I watched television until you were threw! I was board! Lookey! My squirrel is back!" Gir stopped and ran back to the large television and put his little robot hand on the screen. The Scary Monkey Show had started again. Zim sighed.  
  
" Gir!" He yelled. " That's none of your business. And besides, I need your help in operation on the elementary skool teachers giggling center in her brain." Gir just sat in front of the TV. Zim got up and went down to his lab.  
  
  
  
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* Dibs house*  
  
  
  
Dib rolled around on his bed, throwing his pillow off into the floor. He was having a nightmare, just like the night before and the night before that. It seemed to him that ever since Zim had come he had had nightmares every night. (*A/N: Italics are his dream)  
  
  
  
  
  
" No Zim! I was supposed to kill you! Not the other way around!" Zim held a laser gun five inches from Dibs face. He was cornered in an alleyway, beside a trashcan. A rat jumped onto Dibs face at that moment.  
  
" Any last words before I kill you Dib worm? Oh well, to late." At that moment Zim shot the laser at Dib and there was a flash of whitish red light. Dib found himself at the skool. He was walking around the cafeteria, when he herd his classmate Jorge yell out, " Hey look everyone, Dib's naked!" Everyone started to laugh at him. An older girl named STITCH walked by while this was going on. As she passed she stated " Fucking weirdo" under her breath. She sat down at the nearest table and got a pair of blue pants and threw them at Dib. He caught them and put them on. Overwhelmed with joy he raced over to her and hugged her. Shocked she forced him off of her and shrieked. She looked around in her bag as Dib stared at her. She finally found what she was looking for and pointed it at Dib. It was a small handgun. She shot him and his bleeding body lye on the ground. No body seemed to notice and everyone continued to eat.  
  
  
  
  
  
Dib awoke in a cold sweat. Note to self stay away from STITCH tomorrow, he thought. He knew he would get no more sleep that night so he grabbed a bag of alien equipment and sat on the roof in the rain, trying to intercept alien signals, again.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*A/N: Sorry this was so short. The next chapter will be longer and better. This will probably get tons of flames, but I hope someone out there likes it. Well children, it's like twelve o'clock in the morning and I'm really tired. I haven't had a decent sleep in days. REVIEW my friends, please, for the children? 


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